You may feel relieved that people’s satisfaction often varies greatly in relationships even for a short period of time, a new study says.
According to a psychological study conducted in Germany, satisfaction with your partner or relationship can fluctuate significantly within a few days or even one day.
This finding can help better support couples by showing in treatment that fluctuation satisfaction is completely normal to some extent and does not necessarily harm relationships.
Be clear about your needs
Meanwhile, experiencing fluctuations in satisfaction can indicate that couples in a relationship cannot fully meet their needs – and therefore may be a signal that improvement is needed.
“To do this, partners should be aware of their needs and express their needs appropriately,” said Louisa Scheling, lead author of the Mainz University of Mainz study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The degree to which a partner is considered approachable or responsive has a significant impact on satisfaction. The study said some “male emotional instability” also had a significant impact.
This may be because women are more accustomed to mood swings due to hormonal cycles. On the other hand, in men, emotional instability is often attributed to relationship dynamics, the author says.
“Partners make a significant contribution to the reliable perception of needs and satisfaction with stable relationship satisfaction in daily life,” Scheling said. Ultimately, this is similar to a parent-child relationship, she added. “If the demand is consistently met, then satisfaction remains stable at a high level.”
Changes between days are greater than within a day
The study found that relationship satisfaction varies greatly within days and daily. The difference between days is greater than within a day.
It also shows that the ups and downs of partner satisfaction are relatively synchronized, while the different satisfaction levels are not related to demographic factors, meaning that this is a common experience for most couples, even for those who have long-term relationships.
Until now, the study said that research has focused on how it develops over months and years.
But because romantic relationships develop in daily life, it is crucial to check satisfaction and fluctuations in a short period of time – given that in Western countries, one-third of marriages end in divorce, which means many relationships collapse.
Scheling and her team of scientists worked with other research institutions to evaluate data from two studies involving a couple, involving a man and a woman.
Data from a study conducted by the University of Basel between 2016 and 2018 include information from nearly 600 couples that record their satisfaction in multiple waves.
Participants were couples from Switzerland, Austria and Germany, over 18 years old and they were together for at least one month.
Another online study conducted by Mainz and Heidelberg University between 2021 and 2023 included data from 150 couples who were asked several times a day to be satisfied.
In this study, participants were couples who moved in only the past four weeks.
