Hello everyone! I hope you are well. Life is constantly changing and we all have to adapt. What a pain in the ass, isn't it? Mrs. RB40 returned to California for a few days to visit her parents. Her father had a minor medical emergency and was taken to the emergency room by a neighbor. He is now in a rehabilitation facility. He was supposed to stay there for about 20 days. Ms. RB40 then attempted to move him to an assisted living facility. This is happening much sooner than any of us expected.
On her last trip, Ms. RB40 partnered with Visiting Angels to set up home health care assistance. We originally hoped that it would last for 3 years, but we were too optimistic. Unfortunately, her father needed more help than we expected. While Mrs. RB40 was there cooking and helping with housework, he was getting better. However, things were not going well for him when she returned to Portland. One shift of aid workers is not enough. Neighbors had to come over almost every night to help him get to bed. He also didn't eat well and had to go to the hospital for constipation. Based on the elevated white blood cell count in his urine, he may also have a urinary tract infection. It seems he can no longer live alone at home. This situation is untenable.
Ms. RB40 stayed in California for 10 days on this trip. She had to go home because she had a medical appointment in Portland in December. She will then return to California for six weeks to help her father settle into a nursing home. She must take over his house and various interests. It's a lot of work. I guess it's a good thing she retired earlier this year. She wouldn't be able to do this if she was still working. Fortunately, her mom is relatively healthy and doesn't need much help right now. Her parents are divorced. They live in the same town but in different homes.
my dad
On my side, my dad also had some health issues. Recently, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and we are trying to figure out what to do next. He is undergoing various scans. Next, he must decide whether to undergo surgery and/or radiation therapy. Surgery may cause urinary incontinence and ED (erectile dysfunction). I think he would have preferred just radiation therapy. I think it's a good choice when I'm 80 years old.
Additionally, my father started to have more issues with his mobility. His left leg sometimes feels weak. We're not quite sure why this happens. He fell several times and had to be more careful now. I told him to use crutches and install grab bars in the bathroom, but he wouldn't listen. Why is the old man so stubborn? Fortunately, this problem seems to be improving. He can walk better now. He suffered from gout and had occasional attacks. This is a different question. Liquidity is a big thing. Exercise becomes more difficult if you can't move around. When you get older, exercise is a big deal.
I'm a little worried about my dad. For an 80-year-old man, he's healthy, but you never know what's about to happen. That's why I plan to spend more time in Thailand after RB40 goes to college. But that was 4 years later. For now, RB40Jr needs us in his crucial teenage years. He is busy with school and various activities. I need to be here to pick him up during the school year. And, of course, emotional support. As our parents' health deteriorates, they need us more and more. For the sandwich generation, this is a big dilemma.
Anyway, I plan to spend six weeks in Thailand next summer. I'll see how I can help. My dad didn’t want to go to an assisted living facility. He was too independent and frugal for this. Maybe I can find a home assistance service to help. He probably doesn't want to pay for it either. Dealing with aging parents can be frustrating.
*My mother passed away in 2023. My dad took care of her and she never went to a nursing home. We were preparing to send her to a nursing home, but she was hospitalized and never recovered.
Well, let’s live life to the fullest while we still can, shall we? We will all grow old before we know it. Have a great week.
Picture provided by AI Overlord.
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