Residence and Parenting Incompatible – Healthcare Blog

Emily Johnson

As a parent during residency, you need one or more of the following:

●Family and/or friends who are willing and able to provide free parenting

●A spouse/co-parent at home

●Spouse/common parents are willing to make their career a distant priority of family responsibilities and the career of residents

●The vast amount of generational wealth allows you to outsource your family and parenting obligations with money you don’t make.

●High levels of financial risk tolerance and willingness to exceed medical school debt and exceed the average debt level ($234,000!).

Because medical residence in the United States is incompatible with parents.

It was a Sunday night and I was writing this while I was waiting for my husband to come back from the hospital. He “calls” today, which means his working hours are “all day”. He went out before I woke up, it was 9:30 pm and found out that he was still in the hospital for my performance. So that means he's going to be 15 or 16 hours on the weekday and he might leave in a few minutes, or he can go for a few more hours (I don't know which one).

I do know he had at least 15 minutes off today because we and our kids went to the hospital for lunch with him today. Why interrupt his workday, drag a kid in town before nap time (and thus cherish my noon downtime for nap time) and pay for Sunday parking and mediocre buffet restaurant food? Because if I didn't, I really don't know when my son will meet his father next.

This pattern – before the family wakes up, before bedtime – is the rule, not the exception. The “early” day might mean he set out before 7pm – but that doesn't guarantee he'll see our kids, who went to bed from 7pm to 7:30pm.

As a medical spouse with a young child, the most outrageous comment I've ever heard is “But now do they not limit working hours?” Even worse – the occasional hint may be that it's “too easy” for residents today due to work hours. Because the answer is yes – working hours are technically the upper limit of 80 hours per week – but let's talk about:

First, here's what the 80-hour/week schedule looks like in case you haven't worked lately:

Second, from a nursing point of view, the hourly hat is ridiculous because you will still miss 100% of the time when a toddler wakes up Most of the week According to the 80-hour/week schedule.

Third, the beautiful print of the residents’ working hours limit is that it averages over a 4-week period, so even if there are some lighter days in the next few weeks, they can leave him there for longer.

There are many challenges to becoming a living parent, but the most fundamental is mathematics. There is no day care center open 24/7, so if you don't have family nearby, the spouse at home or the spouse is different, and a lot of A more flexible career, your only parenting option is to find a babysitter who can align with your working hours.

Before taxation, the cost of a babysitter in our area is at least $20 per hour. Let's hit a price of at least $25/hour because you need to find a babysitter who is willing to be consistent with your schedule, which means they will usually not know their schedule before the previous few weeks, please don't know when their shifts will end every day, and are willing to do any day of the week and any hour of the day, as well as weekends and weekends and holidays. ha! Just endure me.

In Minnesota, you need to pay Nannies every hour and require overtime pay for over 40 working hours. So you either have to shell out a lot of overtime pay or hire or hire (and coordinate) two Nannies for split coverage.

My husband works for the University of Minnesota resident for a first year salary of about $69,000. The average is 60 hours per week (conservative), which is about $22 per hour. forward Tax. There is no overtime, no overnight salary difference, and no holiday salary.

You do math. This work is not possible unless you have a local family, a different and middle school profession, a spouse who inherits wealth or is willing to assume extraordinary debt levels. Even if you do have one or more things, it can still be a nightmare.

You might think: Only when you live can you have a baby.

Most medical schools have 4 years and residency ranges from 3-7 years, depending on the major you choose. The average age of a mother in medical school is 24. Therefore, residents usually complete training between the ages of 31-35 (if they spend any gaps in conducting research or completing a fellowship). American obstetricians and gynecologists say fertility begins to decline around the age of 32.

Therefore, for many doctors, waiting until after residency is not only after personal sacrifice – it may be biologically risky or impossible.

But this is the kicker: My husband not only likes to be a dad, but also makes him A better job. He told me about this many times, and each time he cited specific examples.

We performed ringtones with pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, which gave him an understanding of the processes and experiences of creating and childbirthing human life in a way that goes far beyond what his textbooks and OBGYN rotations can offer.

Now, he learns more about child behavior, child development, and the feeling of being a caregiver rather than a doctor in a clinic setting.

And, most importantly, he now understands what it feels like to be a parent, which is nearly 70% of American adults experience–helps him more easily empathize and develop rapport with the patients he works with and the patients he cares about every day.

Until recently, I've been awkwardly admitting how much we are struggling because we are some lucky people:

●My parents retired, lived 5 minutes away and provided great (free) help

●I have a flexible job that allows me to walk away for every pediatrician’s date or sudden illness. If we have a snowstorm or a -20 degree day that ruins our child care arrangements, I can work from home.

●We both come from upper and middle classes families that provide us with a huge financial situation, most notably the lack of undergraduate loans to fail to cash out our medical school loans.

What rights do we have to complain about when so many other resident families have worse? I'm watching you Two-bedroom couple.

But I've realized that's exactly why I Do Need to speak out loud: Even with all the support, we are still working to make this arrangement work. When our kids ask Dad most of the time, pretend to see Dad through his cozy coupe, then drive the scream “No! My Dad! My Dad!!! Whenever someone interacts with my husband on a single day off.

If we want doctors in this country to have children and actually see them, the system must be designed to make it possible.

Now, not.

MHA Emily Johnson is a health care strategist who explores the fine line between personal experience and professional responsibility in the leadership world in the healthcare field.